Days like today let me wonder.

You want it, you get it. That’s how our world works. But what if things change? What if you start to wonder, to worry, to doubt? What if you start to become uncertain? What if you start to challenge the status quo. What if we start do not know what we want?

I have a problem. I want something, I want it so badly. But I also don’t want it. There are times when I wish for nothing more in the world. But then there are times were I feel relived for not having it.

We go through life knowing what we want. But what if that changes? What if you wake up one day realizing that this all doesn’t even make any sense? Your life, your hobbies, your interests, basically everything. What if you have believed into the wrong things in life? Focused on the wrong topics? Forgot to live and wasted your time?

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I don’t know what has happened? I have changed? Life has moved on? My priorities changed? Is that a sign for getting older? Is that a sign for the next level? Is that a call for help? A last attempt to get out of the system?

I can’t explain what I feel. I don’t understand life as it is. I cannot enjoy things like the others. I can not be normal. Living the average life. I want more. Is that really too much to ask for? These days I seem to be confused. There is a new topic chapter coming up on the horizon. I am no longer a student. I am working now. Is this really it? Is this all?

We will see what the future can offer, but today, it’s just this strange post.

See you next time!

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