dream | act | succeed

I really don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? Why is it always coming back?

I was never sick for that long. Especially not with something like that. The doctors I met so far, they can not really help me. I know certain things I don’t have, great! But I do not know for sure what I have. Is it the stress? A wrong nutrition? A combination of both? Is there really something wrong with me or am I just causing the issues myself?

I have to calm down. To relax. To give myself the time to recover. But it is strange, isn’t it? I could visit the next doctor. Take the next steps. But will they help me? Or will they just give me so more medicine that makes it worse in the end? Of course there is something wrong, otherwise I wouldn’t have the symptoms but I don’t think it has something to do with my body. I think it’s something more personal. It’s the pressure I put on myself. And a doctor can hardly do something against that.

In the end, I guess I have to go to the next doctor, even though I don’t believe in finding the solution there. I know the issue or at least think I know what it is, but a doctor will not be able to work on my problem, they can just reduce the symptoms I experience.

The point is, I have to go through this. There is a lesson I haven’t still learned. There is something wrong in the equation. But which part? Or all the parts? Is it the fact that I can not finish all my tasks at work? Is it this ongoing running late? The ongoing pressure? Well, if it is just that, I will get over it! But if it is something serious indeed, it may not even be connected to my situation in life these days. Well, whatever. I bore you to death with my problems.

See you next time!