It’s this time of the year again. “Ho, ho, ho!” “Do you know what? Ho, ho ho! Fu__ yourself!” Christmas is always at the worst time of the year! It’s cold, it’s dark, it’s depressing. But that’s not even what is triggering me. It’ s the running out of excuses.
I can’t stand the situation any longer! I can’t pretend to be fine when I am not fine after all! I mean, technically I am fine, just not in their eyes. I see it, you know! You can see it in their eyes! Year after year. It’s not disappointment any longer, it’s worse, it’s acceptance.
I am single all year around but somehow Christmas is the time that gets me. I can stand valentines day! But I can’t stand Christmas. Maybe it’s my past that triggers me, I got to know both of my ex girlfriends during Christmas. But that’s not it, right? What about those happy family Christmas movies, those Christmas miracles, you know how the stories go.
What can I say. I am single for over 7 or so years and actually I am proud of myself. I did well the last years and there is no indication that my lifestyle will change. At least I am not planning on changing it and so far, whatever I have planned turned out to become my next reality. So, it will not be the last Christmas on which I am single. It will just be one of those Christmases I already had. But I am not alone. I have my family. I have my friends. I have my future Porsche. What do I need more?
A girlfriend? Well, fu.. yourself!
Life is good, single or not. And somewhere out there in the World Wide Web she already is. Or at least that is what my mother is hoping for. I want the Porsche first, even though it would be better the other way around. You can see it in their eyes, you know? It should be about you and not about the car you are driving. Well, I am so far away from actually getting in this kind of a situation, so why do I care?
I will just fall asleep that very night on Christmas Eve, thanking God that I am single. Not that I am religious any longer but it keeps me going and fighting for what I want and not for what she probably would want. Women! You know how they are! Lovely! Good looking! Funny! Caring! Add some random things that come to your mind.
Being single is ok, because being single is a lifestyle decision! It’s the decision I took, it’s the decision society needs to accept. My life, my rules, my world. Oh, and I don’t have the struggle with finding a present that works. I am very bad at this, so more money for the Porsche.
See you next time!