With my little eye problem knocking me out for 5 days straight, the possible activities were reduced to a minimum. There was sleeping, listening to audiobooks or just laying in bed and doing nothing. Well, isn’t that supposed to be the perfect moment for a silent retreat kind of a thing? Technically it was, I guess, but honestly, it had quite a calming effect on me even without actually pushing it to the limits of my little mind.
Too often in our everyday life, we tend to forget about the most simple of things in life. We take things for granted, because they have always been there. Sure, I talk about this topic of being grateful all the time, but that’s not what I usually mean! I live my life more conscious than others? Maybe, but honestly, I do not get up every morning thanking a higher power for being able to see, or move my head, legs and arms. That’s a completely different level of awareness!
Waking up without the actual ability to just do whatever you are used to do, this makes you wonder. The moment you can’t even look at a screen without experiencing pain, or staying in a room that is brightly illuminated, you finally understand how important those basic things really are.
For what do I need a Porsche, a racing team or a driving license if I can’t see?
But I will forget about this experience, right? I will be back to normal anytime soon. Waking up and just seeing the world, it will become naturally again. In fact, sure, I woke up today not really thinking about it any longer! My problems changed again! The focus is now back on the girlfriend and Porsche. The things I really want! But isn’t that false? Isn’t that wrong? Isn’t life supposed to be differently?
Having a desire for material things?
Well, I am not an angel, am I! I am just a normal guy! A guy with dreams and hopes. I mean, come on! Sure, my lifestyle might be something new. Let’s call it minimalism 2.0 for the moment! But still, everybody can do whatever they want! Minimalism was yesterday, today is the extrem version of that! Having little, but really valuable things! But I guess this is a topic for another time.
In the last week I had a lot of time to think. To ask myself if what I am currently chasing after is really the thing I should go for. I experienced ups and downs. Sometimes, I was satisfied with how my life is going so far, but occasionally, I also thought differently about it. Maybe I am missing out on something? Maybe I shouldn’t take things so serious? Maybe I should spend more time with friends and family?
It was a situation I really had not on the agenda. I was just in the flow! Doing exactly what I wanted to do without looking left or right! But this last week “opened my eyes”. Haha! Well, an eye joke! Ok, it did not really open my eyes! But it allowed me to question my life, my doing, anything I stand for again and again and again.
What is important in this life and what is not? This situation showed me clearly how fast everything can be over. Sure, I save up my money like a dry spoon in water, come on, it’s not a secret that owning a Porsche and racing on the Nordschleife is just bloody expensive. But even if you have all the money in the world, without eyes, you will have a pretty hard time on track.
Sometimes I wonder. Why am I even do what I do? Why do others do what they do? Why are we all doing what we do? Who has invented this game? And when is it over?
When we have time to think, we think. When we have no time to think, we think not. If you feel good, the sky is the limit, if you feel bad, this view gets more narrow. I know that it might sound strange to you, but what if you simulate such a situation from time to time? What if you take one Saturday each month and just try to escape from your routine? I mean, even the old stoics were talking about this all the time! Take whatever you fear, experience it and figure out, that in fact, there is no need to fear it anyways.
Sure, maybe you shouldn’t kill yourself just for the sake of overcoming this fear, but you got the joke. If you are afraid of poverty, just live on rice and beans like the stoics suggest. Sleep on the floor, wear old cloths, do whatever it takes and experience that even that is nothing we actually need to fear.
When being forced to do just nothing, we get time to think. But that is not enough! We should also think about this when we are not just feeling sick!
See you next time!