An internal conversation…
How can that be so hard, right? That’s a question I ask myself literally all the time. It even prevents me sometimes from switching off… can you believe it? But what makes it so hard for me?
It is the doing nothing part, definitely. As you can see from my blog in general, or the category called “The road to success”, I am used to do a lot. I push through, no matter what. But when it comes to doing nothing, I can not stand it. There is that ongoing drive in me, that demands to take action. To do the next task on the agenda, to finish the next project. But as soon as the next task is something switching off related, my body just tells me “No! I don’t want to do that!“.
Was that always like this?
I guess so. I always had that relentless drive. I always needed to move on. Aiming for the stars. But why do I struggle so much with the switching off part? This question goes on and on in my head. Well, this is the last thing I need. Thinking about it all the time. I just need to do my exercise. Identifying thoughts as thoughts and send them away. That’s nothing else then doing my normal workout routine. One curl after the other. Letting the muscles grow, learn from experience, avoid mistakes. In theory I know what I need to do, but just doing it, not that easy.
Even though I am doing this every day, I just don’t get the hang of it. It feels like the strangest thing. It feels like my body doesn’t want to even go there. Switching off, relaxing, living in the moment. For me, life is just an ongoing sequence of tasks. Tasks that want to be done. Tasks that need to be done! Tasks that need to be crossed out on the “to do” list. I’m not there yet, haven’t reached my current goals. Of course this is just the wrong way towards life, I know that, but it’s still there, running around in my head. This believe, that ones I have reached my goals, everything will be different. When in fact, it will not. So why don’t I start right now with switching off more often?
Do I make progress?
Yes I do! But in the way I want it to be? Of course not, but that is no surprise. I demand too much! I don’t see it as something relaxing and cool, I see it more like something that needs to be done. Like buying groceries, or filling up the car. But I don’t see it as something that can actually help me to make my life even more efficient, more productive, more easy.
But why do I tell you that? This is not helping you at all. This is just me, trying to help myself, right?
Compared to other tasks, even writing this blog post has a calming impact on me. Of course, at the end of the day even that is just a task that needs to be done, but the difference lays obviously in the fact, that I want to do it. This is my own project, this is what I want, what I like.
How can I turn my motivation practice into something I actually like?
Doing some light journaling, that makes fun, right? Maybe I should try this more often, then the normal breathing exercise. But anyways. If you have read this post up to this point, I want to give you something back for the time commitment you have done.
If you do things you really like, there is no need for you to find a compensation in sitting around and counting your breath work. Do what you love to do, and you will never even get off balance. Have you read the Christmas story I have written / still write these days? This feels like such a thing. I just do it without any thoughts about everything. I am just there, right in the moment. My brain has nothing besides that story in mind and I just live in the moment.
Switching off, not only achievable by trying to meditate, it is also possible to do this while actually being productive.
See you next time!