#337 Mindset – S1 E2 – The mess inside my head

This is a part of #1 Book

The moment you start working on something in a more serious fashion, you should be convinced about the idea you have in mind.

You should know what you want.
You should know what this is going to be all about.
You should follow a strategy that will lead you towards finishing this any time soon.

When I started to work on my book project, sure, I thought that I have figured out all of these things. I thought that I just need to follow this one particular path until it will lead me towards the end somewhere down the road.

But well, well, well, little did I know. Writing this book fells like a roller coaster ride through all the emotions there are in life.

It is Sunday morning, the sun is shining through my window as I start to write my daily blog. Relaxed, calm, just as usual. After nearly a year of doing this every single day, sure, it became a habit. Afterwards, I might work on my other projects for university, have conversations on the phone or do some sport outdoors or inside.

Still kind of in the same mood, still kind of ok.

But the moment I start to work on my book, it is something else. I read through a chapter and get goosebumps because it sounds so great, but I may read through the very same chapter again and think that it is the worst thing in the world.

The same chapter, two completely different emotions.

And it doesn’t even start there. In combination with my fear that this book will not be good after all, I tend to start thinking too much about the process. I end up not writing after all, but instead scrolling through the chapters and look for ways how to improve it.

Sure, this actually helps a lot in order to make it better. But it’s really exhausting if your emotions change so frequently all the time. Publishing this book somewhere in the future? I already feel the pressure! I can feel the fear tensioning up my body. I can see the sleepless nights in front of my eyes. I can see the tears rolling down my cheeks. What might they say? What might they think? Will I lose my face? Will I destroy my reputation?

Things are rushing through my head.

But the funny thing about this is of course that this is not who I am. At least not anymore! Writing this book is exactly that kind of a challenge that I needed in my life. This constant reminder about better making this book perfect. It is awesome. It is pushing me beyond limits. It helps me to reach my goals!

I always wanted to care less about what others might think and say about me. Sure, with publishing daily on my online blog, I already made the first steps into the right directions. But still, there is so much more I need to learn from life.

It is still a long, long way to go.

I still need to learn my lessons in life! I still need to overcome my fears, my worries, my thoughts! I need to push through, coming out a better person. A stronger person.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

I do not really see my situation as a problem. I do not really think that I would want to write the book without having it. Sure, it would be a lot easier and less painful, but the book wouldn’t become so good, right? I wouldn’t have these changes in my perspective. I wouldn’t look at this so critical.

In life, we need to overcome things in order to move on.

The Obstacle Is The Way

by Ryan Holiday

I can highly recommend this book. Well written, good examples, not talking around the topics like others do.

This mess in my head, sure, it could be something bad. But in my case, it is rather helping me to move forward. It helps me to work on myself every single day!

For no money in the world would I change it, but I need to figure out a way how to do it, right?

See you next time!

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