My progress on the meditational side of life so far? Let’s better do not talk about it! It is a mess, really! This is what it is! A complete mess! Did I make progress? Not really! Sure, I learned a lot about me, myself and I! But still, I am not satisfied after all! If this would be a movie, I wouldn’t recommend anyone to watch it! Honestly! My meditation practice is just horrible!
To summarize the progress so far, this is a living nightmare!
Meditating properly? This is still this overwhelmingly huge obstacle in my life which constantly tells me to fuck off the moment I want to start calming down a bit.
Sure, this wouldn’t be the dream-act-succeed blog if I simply accept the situation as it is! Right? Right!
Therefore, here we go again!
My attempts are already too numerous to count, but it doesn’t really matters how often we need to try it again, right? The important thing is of course to get back on your feet and try it again all the time!
Where we are actually right at the origin of my meditational problems! My brain simply put can’t stop thinking for a moment. It can’t just take a brake and give me the space I need. Sure, someone needs to notice thoughts as they are and send them away! But honestly! This is not as easy as it might sound!
There is this inner drive I have. This urge to do something productive. This drive that demands from me to do more! To reach for the stars! To get into the extreme! And what do I do? I accept my faith! I do exactly what my brain demands. From the moment I get up in the morning to the last one late at night, my mind is constantly demanding the next thing from me and the one after that and the one after that.
Sure, if you have a look at the theoretical side of meditating, you would instantly notice what it is all about. But between knowing how it is supposed to be done and how you actually do it in real life, once the stress level is high up in the sky, a completely different thing, believe me.
Easy to learn, hard to master.
Everyone can meditate in a temple somewhere on the other side of the world with no wifi, no phone service and no distractions. But what about your every day life? What about the times when you are under pressure? When there is a need to deliver?
Can you keep a cool head? Can you calm your nerves? Can you stay in control and breath it away?
During the last five years I have tried a lot! But the right thing for me? It wasn’t one of the things I tried. Sure, some of them work brilliantly! Sometimes even better than that! But the moment there is a really stressful situation happening in my life, I realize one thing more than any other, and that is the fine line between knowing how to do something and actually doing something.
It must sound really funny and actually it is! But these days I can tell you right in the moment when I am falling back into a very stressful and not in control kind of state, but can’t change the situation anyways.
In the past, at least I didn’t even notice loosing myself. I was just getting surprised all the time. But nowadays, it hurts even more, because I know what I am doing wrong, but can’t change it.
That this needs to stop, should be clear by now! In order to reach my goals, this is nothing that can stand in my way. This will hold me back too much. Therefore, it needs to be trained out!
Welcome to the third season of meditation 4.0. The place, where the topic around meditation is getting discussed in a different light.
With a never stopping narrator sitting in my head, meditations and getting in peace with myself are the hardest things in my life these days. If I will finally find a meditational practice that will work for me, well, I guess 99% of the worlds population will be able to meditate with this as well.
More than five years in practice already, I guess I can only be very close, but I guess Thomas A. Edison said the very same thing all the time as well!
See you next time!