I want to be honest here. I have doubts. I worry! I ask myself if this is really the way to go. Writing a book with that little experience about life? Sometimes it really gets me. I sit there, asking myself why I have even started. It takes me a while to get my thoughts back under control. A minute or two is more than enough. I can reset my focus. I can gain back the reasons why. But still, is it really a good idea?
Writing this blog is fine. It’s a challenge, a daily challenge. I am forced to think about myself. I am reflecting on my doing. I improve and take the next steps. Day by day, task by task. The blog is good as it is. It helps me. It may help you. But this book I am writing, this is something else. In a book, every word needs to be picked to perfection. Actually that is not even necessary, but I am different, right? If I write a book, of course it needs to be perfect. But not even that, it needs to be the ultimate book. The best book I have ever written. Sure, I haven’t written a book before and sure I do not even know how to do it. But these are just excuses. Ways with which I try to justify my slow progress.
Writing a book is always a good idea. You need to dive so deep into a topic, there is literally no way around the topic. You dream about it, you think about it, you change. From the inside and the outside. Books are dead. Books are boring. Books are everything I do not represent. Books are an ancient way of torture. But still, they are around. People read these heavy things. They sit there and really claim to enjoy the process. But I can’t write a book for those people. They have read so much, they will instantly notice that this is different. Will they?
At the end of the day I just do not care. I have started this project and now I am just doing it. Day after day, week after week, until one day when it is finally ready. Is it really a good idea? I guess the future will tell me. Before finishing the project, it’s hard to form any opinion. And so, I will just get back to work. Writing, writing and writing.
See you next time!