Honestly, I don’t know if this is the moment to celebrate or to cry. Six years have past by in which, well, lets put it that way, not much happened on that side of life. Being single can be this most awesome time. I mean, there are tons of movies out there, showing us exactly that. But at the end of the day, I am single my own way.
When I say nothing happened in those six years, I mean exactly that. Not a single date, or even more. I just … I had to … I am so … I do not even know what I am doing wrong. Is it the racing simulator that blocks out one fourth of my room? Is it my list of over 300 requirements? Or am I just born in the wrong century? Looking for the princess that doesn’t exist? At the end of the day, it is all of that combined! It is my mindset, my attitude, it is my way of living.
That I am different compared to the average human being, was nothing I really noticed in my early years of existence. I just assumed that life feels like that for everyone. That it is normal to have this ongoing inner drive. This need for moving one. For aiming for the stars and dedicating my life to something. That desire for more! For improvements. For progress.
A girlfriend? A normal girlfriend? One like others have? That wouldn’t fit my lifestyle. What I need is someone special. Someone that follows their passion as well. At least that is what I am telling myself. That life is about living, is something I have not yet learned perfectly. For me, I am just not satisfied. There is no Porsche in the garage. There is no racing license in my pocket. There is no passive income stream. There is not a collection of my own books.
If you do not have time for a dog, you shouldn’t get a dog. But what do you do if you do not have time for a girlfriend? I personally believe that it would be unfair to be as selfish as I am these days in a real relationship. No, in fact, I already know that I can not continue to be that selfish, once I have found a girlfriend. But a normal person will hold me back, will slow me down. That is of course just my mind going crazy, but due to the fact that I believe in it, it becomes a fact. It becomes a truth in my life. A part of my believe system. The perfect girlfriend doesn’t exist. Of course I know that! But once I have started to look for her, it feels just so much easier to accept my faith. To focus on my goals and leave everything else behind.
Is it my insecurity? Me worrying too much? Or am I just not ready for another person entering my life? Am I afraid about loosing my focus? Loosing the momentum? Yes, I am! But I have already started to change. To give people a chance, at least if they want one. Online dating, God, it doesn’t work! I do not have great pictures about myself. I do not want to sell the dream, showing off with what I have. And so, at least in this superficial world of dating, I will not have success either. But there are so many more things to do, places to go! Well, not really. Just look at my life! I do not go to such places. I do not want to waste my time in a bar, the city, or everywhere else. I need to spend my time wisely. No, I want to.
Being single for another six years? Could be a thing. But maybe just maybe I will have my Porsche until then!
See you next time!