#47 Racing is life – Season 1 Episode 8 – My addiction – Three weeks of no racing

Having spent the last couple of weeks full time on formula student there was no time left for practicing on my racing simulator. Additionally, our car was not finished in time, therefore, I couldn’t even drive our race car. Coming back home with a swollen foot and a cold I caught in Hockenheim, I haven’t touched my racing simulator since.

Some people would say, well, that is life sometimes. Just get back on your feet and start racing in the next couple of days, but for me, this is not so easy.

Being kind of addicted to racing, I really have a hard time not doing it. Very similar to other forms of addictions I experience that inner drive that wants me to do it. To drive fast, to get into a cockpit, to feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. But this is unfortunately not happening, therefore, I suffer from withdrawal symptoms already.

At the beginning this is quite ok, it starts with feeling not that good about the situation, even feeling a little bit guilty. I mean, of course I would like to do racing again, but it is just not working with my tight schedule these days, and this is it. I can handle it!

But after a while I enter the next level. Here, just trying to keep it cool is not working anymore. I need to drive fast, have my daily adrenalin dose and keep pushing forward. If I can not have this, for example because the race car is not working, or I am not at home, it starts to influence my diving behavior on the public road. Due to this fact, I nearly always prevent this stage 2 situation from happening, but of course, sometimes you can not prevent it from happening.

What happens when being in this state of mind? Well, let’s put it that way, it is very close to what can be considered as being not appropriate for the road anymore. Being a very responsible person, I know that this is an absolute no go on public roads, therefore, I actively brake my self down and try to keep my focus on driving slowly. This is of course not always really working, but at least I improved on controlling my self in these kind of situations.

Having multiple driving modes I can change in between with my mind, I normally do not allow myself to get into the racing mode while driving on the streets. And surprisingly this is actually working quite good. At least as long as there is no external factor like an idiot that is harassing me.

Having experienced a really weird situation some weeks back, when an Austrian guy was yelling, honking and tailgating me without any reason I realized how uncontrollable this racing mode switching really is. Being really surprised by the situation I found myself in the racing mode with absolutely no chance to switch back. This really gave me something to think about and since then I actively work on this again, to be able to do not lose my self-control on the road.

Surviving in stage 2 for a while, there is an borderless transition into stage 3. The final stage. Here, the border between sanity and insanity seems to fade away and there is only one way to make the pain go away. Racing! In this situation, I do not really like to get into my normal car anymore. Because it will be always a kind of grey area visit on the legal site of life. Being conscious about this fact, I feel physical pain if I can not drive properly. Therefore, I normally prevent this stage 3 situation from happening. Being in the stage 3 mindset right now, I will not get into my car before having spend at least two hours on my racing simulator to calm myself down again.

In the next episode, we will talk about the right driving style and behavior for the public road.

See you next time!

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