What do we do? We hide! We lock our own believe system behind thick walls. We suppress our own thoughts. We keep quiet. We try to act normal.
From an early age onwards, I was already familiar with the problems we have in our society. We think that we are open minded, that we are accepting others just as they are, but that is of course only in theory the case. Sure, we all might say and actually think that we are open minded, or let’s better go with nearly all of us, but when it really matters, we all fail to do it. If the theoretical thought experiment becomes a reality, a real case, our open mindedness gets very short sighted. We can watch ourself reacting in a certain way, we wouldn’t have even thought we were capable of doing, but this is just how people react. That is what we do.
Our society doesn’t accept to step out of the norm, out of the average, out of the general believe system. The moment someone is doing that, he gets attacked, he gets discriminated, he gets defamed, he gets talked small, he gets described as a liar, as a fool or as a stupid person.
This is of course very sad and proofs our poor understanding about life in general, but it is how it is. Either you swim with the stream, or you better be quick, strong and can deal with the opposition.
Therefore, what do we do? We hide our real thoughts and emotions. We act professionally, we act in the way, others expect us to do the job. Or have you ever seen a doctor who comes up to the patient a couple of minutes before the surgery and tells the patient that he doesn’t feel that great today and thinks he should better practice a little bit more for the complicated maneuver? That is neither what you want to hear as a patient, nor a very clever thing to do in order to get that higher position in the hierarchy of the hospital, right? Therefore, what do we do? The young and inexperienced doctor shuts the fuck up and does his job, the pilot starts off into the darkness, the lawyer starts his presentation and the young engineer sends out the drawings for manufacturing. Please, don’t get me wrong on that, sometimes, it is actually better to shut the fuck up and just pretend, but that should rather be the exception to the rule, right?
Well, going back from these general examples to the reality, I want to focus on my own experience with that topic now. Having suffered for many years, my way of thinking has changed dramatically. I reached a point in my life, where it was clear, that I will never ever go back into the old system. So what did I do? I defined my own rules, my own way of thinking. For sure, this helps me a lot in order to move on in what I think is right, to focus on the tasks that need to be done, to be able to have time for the things that seems to be important in my current life. But it also comes with a lot of problems.
The one, that might be the hardest is actually the topic for this week. People do not understand what you are talking about, they are not ready for the next step. Therefore, what ever you are going to tell them, they will be shocked! They will think that you must have lost your mind. That you are totally confused and out of control.
And what do we do?
As funny as this might sound, but we act like we were still the person five years ago. We agree with what they say, even though we think that this is definitely not the right way. We tell them things, not how we really think, but how they want to hear it. We tell them how much we suffer and that we don’t like studying and that life is so unfair and that everything is so expensive and that there are so many problems in our life and so on and so on. Life is supposed to be hard, you know?
But that is not how it really is! We do not really suffer anymore! Life is good! We only do things that we truly love. There is not a single thing in our life that we do not like. Life is not supposed to be hard. We don’t need to suffer! We don’t have a lack of finding motivation. We get enough sleep. We can do what ever we want to do. No one tells us what we have to do. We can reach everything. We will reach everything. We will reach our goals. We will succeed in our life.
But that is nothing we can talk about with most of the other people, therefore we basically have only two option.
Either we continue on our quest to play that old mindset and tell them what they want to hear, or we stop talking to them all together.
Taking the middle path and trying to explain our situation? That was a good one! Are you serious? You do that exactly two times in your life. The first one because you think that this is a good idea and the second attempt to make sure, it wasn’t just that particular person that had reacted in that way. But after that, you have learned your lesson. You will never ever try to do that again.
I basically can not hear that moaning and complaining any longer. Therefore, what have I done? I stopped talking with them, I stoped being around them. I started to isolate myself, preventing that negativity from reaching my mind. Life is too short to be like that. To pretend and hope that they might change. Because they do not change. Not if they proceed in what they are doing.
Have you ever listened to what people really say? That is unbelievable! I have heard that at work all the time. It is so fascinating for me how people actively make their life’s harder. They talk about problems, illnesses, bad experiences, suffering, who split up with whom, who made the biggest mistake in life, who is the worst boss, and so on and so forth.
They are nagging on their situation, their life and everything else they find to complain about. They limit themself. But sure, they can do what ever they want to do. The thing is, they do not see their behavior as a problem. For sure they do not see that, because that is just what they were doing all the time. Their parents have done that, their grandparents have done that, it must be the right thing to do.
What do we do? We hide our own believe system from the public opinion. We pretend to be like them. We follow the socially accepted norms. For sure, just if that is needed, so basically only at work, in the supermarket, meeting with neighbors, being on events and so on. But as you can already see, that is basically all the time, people will analyze your behavior and form their opinion about you. In their eyes, you must be a completely different person than you really are.
See you next time!