How do we feel? This is the next question that comes up when thinking about this weeks topic. After explaining how we react, this describes the direct consequences that we need to deal with on a regular basis.
At the beginning it isn’t a real problem. I mean, for sure, you do not get your new mindset from one day to the other, therefore you have a lot of time to adapt upon your situation and make sure that it doesn’t get out of control. Your life basically just goes on like it has been before and only from time to time, you notice these small details you haven’t realized before. For example you start to wonder about the fact, why this one particular friend of yours always complains about his situation, but doesn’t really start an attempt to change something. From your point of view, this doesn’t make any sense. You ask yourself why this person doesn’t do anything against the situation instead of complaining all the time, but that is it. You neither understand the reason, nor do you actively try to help this person. You just start to notice the difference in your mindset compared to the the mindset of others but that is it. You may think that this is just a phase you are going through. Something that will go away with time, allowing you to be back in your normal mode. But actually, you will never ever be the same again. There is no getting back, once you understand how the system is working.
The further you go down the road, the harder it will be. At least until you will reach a certain point down the road, where it actually doesn’t matter anymore. I think I have already stepped over that line, therefore I might be able to describe the situation from a better angle compared to someone who is still quite early on in the journey.
Of course, we can not generally say how long it will take to get to this very moment down the road, because that depends on so many different outside and internal factors, but it will take quite some time, that’s for sure.
As your mindset and believe system starts to change over time, it gets even more obvious that something seems to be very wrong. People will start to actually complain even more. You will not just noticing that from time to time, but actually you will experience this on a regular and daily basis. It will be your new hobby to listen to people complaining about their life without really trying to change something. Meeting people will become a real challenge. On the one hand, you want to have these social interactions, want to meet with friends and enjoy your life, but on the other side you can not listen to what they are saying any longer. They seem to be completely out of their mind, brainwashed and controlled by others. This all will not make any sense to you.
“Oh, wow! Today we meet again. And it will all be about death, illnesses, problems, who split up with whom, and so on. I can’t wait to say my friends!!! Yaaayy!”
I am sure, some of you might be actually experienced that already at first hand. Generally speaking, the older the people we will meet up with, the more likely it will be that they focus up to 100 % of their time on these negative topics. But that is just how it is, right? You sit there, listen to what they say and think what the fuck are they talking about? No wonder that their life is so miserable! How would my life look like, if I would constantly complain about even the smallest of issues. What the fuck am I even doing here? But do we say something? Do we try to help them? No, because that wouldn’t improve upon their situation, but actually just make it worse. Therefore we just sit there, trying to agree with what ever they will come up with and hope that the evening is soon over.
Well, that this doesn’t make a lot of fun should be clear by now. You start to wonder why you are even going there. This inner voice will start to say something, it will start to ask you why the hell you are doing this to yourself. But what is your alternative? Either you go there and listen to people complaining, or do not go there, sitting at home, alone, with all those people think that you are the one with the problems. That you are the one that is wrong. But still, this seems to be the better option. Therefore, what do we do?
We isolate ourself.
Well, for some, this doesn’t seem to be a real struggle. If you are a real introvert, you haven’t liked these meeting anyways and do have much more time for the really important things in your life now. But for all the others, this seems to be a wrong thing to do, stopping to meet your friends. As you can probably imagine, that must feel like shooting yourself in the knee. And to be honest, who does that? Shooting myself? That is not an option, therefore, we continue to meet these people and continue to pretend to be the old person everyone knows from the past. We pretend to be like the average human being. We give everything for not standing out. For not doing something unusual. But as the time goes on, matters will get worse. For sure, these people do not change, but you are changing. The more often you will be forced to listen to that nonsense, the harder it will get to actually find the inner motivation to go there.
As always in life, everything needs to end someway or another. You will get to a point, where you can not listen to that any longer. It is enough! You can not sit there, listening to them complaining and talking everything small. You need to get out of there! But how? Talking with them? Telling them what we feel? Trying to find a solution? Or just stepping away from them, without saying a single word, without telling them what we feel and what we are going through. For sure, we can not possibly tell them! You can not explain to them that what they are doing must be wrong! The moment you will try to do that, they will instantly start to feel offended. They will feel being attacked, criticized and somehow not accepted as who they are. For sure, everyone reacts in such a way, but this is of course not helping us in our situation either.
The only thing we know is, that this can not continue any longer. We can not just sit there, pretending to agree to what they are saying. This is not an option anymore. Therefore we need to get out of there! The sooner, the better. We do not meet with them again, we find excuses why we do not have time, will pretend to have other things to do, or simply do not want to go there because we are so tired, or exhausted or whatever they usually complain about all the time. For sure, the truth wouldn’t be the right thing to say, therefore we use their own weapons against them and telling something that makes sense, at least for them.
But still, friends stay friends, right? You had these people as friends for a reason. Obviously there seems to be some kind of attraction, some kind of harmony.
As you can already see, this internal fight will destroy every positive moment in your social life. You will start to feel miserable, lonely and frustrated. For sure, why don’t you find likeminded people and meet with them. Well, what sounds to be the ultimate solution is actually not the easiest thing in the world to do. For sure, there might be some of us out there, but how can we find them? How can we connect to each other? It is not that this is something you state out on your Facebook profile, or your tinder account.
But I guess, this is the topic for tomorrows post.
What can we do, to improve upon the situation?
See you next time!
Engineer, Motorsport Enthusiast, becoming an Entrepreneur, Author and just different