#244 Being illuminated? The problem about being one step ahead – *Topic Week 7* – Day 4 – What can we do to improve upon the situation?

The most important thing to say might be to actually talk with someone about it. To be able to share your insights, your feelings and emotions with another person, that is oftentimes the right thing to do. Or why do you think therapy is basically working like this all around the world? You have an issue you need to deal with, then you talk about it and kind of revisit the situations, your feelings and what ever you where thinking and try to find a way how to deal with what ever comes your way.

But most of the time, this is exactly the first issue we have. With whom can we actually talk about this? Because if that person doesn’t really understand what you actually mean, it will not work, right? This person will not understand what you are talking about. It will not really help you to improve upon your situation. For sure, there might be some of them out there, but first, we need to find them, right?

Therefore one of the things you definitely should do, is finding likeminded people. You may have never ever talked to them before, you may do not even know something about them, but that is not a problem. The moment you notice that someone has the same mindset, you will automatically connect to each other, because “like attracts like“. If you are a car enthusiast and do what such a person usually does, then it is just a matter of time until you will meet other people that share the same interest. Why? Because you basically notice only the things, you are focusing on. I am an absolute Porsche fan, meaning, that I see every single Porsche there is to see in my life. For my mother this might be just a black car like all the others, but for me, it is a 911 997.2 targa 4s. The world may be the same, but I look at it with other eyes. For sure, in another situation, I might just see a handbag like all the others, but my mother sees something more than that.

Therefore, if you really focus on changing your mindset and the way you go through life, then you will realize that there are other people out there that are doing the same things. The only step you need to take, is to find the courage to talk with them and get in contact. I mean, we are living in the 21th century. You can contact them online, figure out where they live or what ever you need to know in order to start a conversation.

But stepping away from that general perspective and diving really deep into the situation I had experienced in the past at first hand, I couldn’t find the courage to actually talk to the people I had the problems with. Instead of just telling them what I felt and why I didn’t want to do these particular things any longer, like going into town, or meeting at social events, I basically came up with excuses. Trying to talk myself out of it and actually not following my own mindset during that time. Looking at this from where I stand today, I guess people do understand. If you can tell them what you really feel and why you do not want to have this experience in your life any longer, they will at least accept your decision, if not finding an alternative way for handling this in the future. Instead of meeting up with the whole group, you may just see these people one at a time, or doing something together that might not cause too many issues on the complaining side of life.

Another thing is of course to notice, that running away from problems shouldn’t be the best solution in the world. As your life goes on, there will come times and times again where you basically can not just get out of there or stop meeting other people. Maybe this person is your boss, or your girlfriends mother, or your neighbor. With these people, we need to deal with anyways. Therefore, you should also work on the skill to simply push through, meaning that you can easily handle an evening of complaining, or a short small talk situation at work or in a car. These situations are simply unavoidable. Therefore, you better figure out a way how to handle them.

Last but not least we need to realize, that life isn’t easy for everyone. Oftentimes, we focus too much on our own problems and issues in life and tend to forget about other people. In the end, we want to work together as a team, not as single individuals, trying to be better than the others. Why can’t we accept others as they are and live together in perfect harmony? Why do we have this inner drive to be better than someone else? To show them what we are capable of and trying to impress others? At the end of your life, this is all not really important, right?

See you next time!

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